My Take on the Oscars

Since I'm an anti-jock, I'm rarely the Monday-Morning Quarterback. On the other hand, being the artsy fart that I am, I'll be glad to take the role of Monday-Morning Film Critic. This doesn't quite fit in in the lunchroom, though. When there was mention of the Oscars at the table of guys, one asked another, "You watch the Oscars?" The other scoffed, "Hell, no!" Others agreed in disgust, making the general consensus quite clear, complaining that everything else on TV was a rerun because of those damn Oscars. I, on the other hand, was disappointed that I wasn't able to watch them due to lack of adequate reception with the rabbit ears, but I declined to express my interest at the table and kept my mouth shut. So, instead of offering my opinions in the lunchroom to a bunch of people who could care less and who would be able to respond only with puzzled looks, I turn to you, dear Cyberspace. I confide in you, always there to lend a listening ear... So here we go... Alan Arkin as Best Supporting Actor...I love Little Miss Sunshine as much as (or probably more than) the next guy, and Alan Arkin was great. But honestly! How much screen time did he actually have?! And how demanding was that role?! I'm not necessarily upset that he got it, but is it really fair to, say, Jackie Earle Haley? Was the makeup work in Pan's Labyrinth really better than Click? Just kidding. But I DO want to watch Click just to see what in the world earned it a nomination. Actually, no, I can pass on that. Inconvenient Truth winning Best Documentary...I know, I know, it's an important movie and one of the most successful documentaries ever and blah blah blah. But there's just something not quite right about a former Vice President making a PowerPoint presentation and getting an award for it. I mean, really...did the Academy even SEE Iraq in Fragments?!? The Lives of Others winning Best Foreign Language Film...I have no idea what the Lives of Others is like, and I'm sure it's a charming little movie, but if Pan's Labyrinth isn't going to win Best Picture, it should at least win Best Foreign Language Film. Forest Whitaker winning Best Actor...I'm sure he's good, but I was rooting for the underdog: the crack-addict inner-city teacher. Little Miss Sunshine winning Best Original Screenplay...Out of the nominees, sure. But here's what should have happened: Scorsese finally got his Oscar for directing, no need to give him Best Picture, too. So we give Best Picture to Little Miss Sunshine instead, then give Best Original Screenplay to Half Nelson, which wasn't nominated, but darn well should have been, and deserved to win on top of it. Little Miss Sunshine is nice, but a wee bit contrived. Half Nelson isn't, I don't think, and the layers and layers of depth and meaning that surface in turn are indeed award-worthy. And there's my unasked-for two cents.